RETREAT- REBUILDING A WHOLESOME SELF-ESTEEM WITH GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

ACCEPT EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE AND YOUR WORLD- THE SKY & THE EARTH, THE UNSEEN AIR THAT YOU BREATHE IN, THE MOODS THAT YOU ARE WALLOWING IN AND THE NEGATIVE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT ARE RECASTING YOU INTO A BETTER PERSON.

DAY 1

LEARNING THE LESSON OF UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR SITUATION.

 The days engulfed in toxic shame are like the days a prisoner is forced to endure in the dark dungeon. There is darkness everywhere because there is no window in the dungeon.  A suffering soul trapped in deep depression or toxic shame is similar to a helpless victim trapped in an oppressive situation that is beyond his / her control.

How do you feel when you are engulfed by depressed moods and toxic shame?

Life seems to be conspiring against you. There is virtually nothing you can do at this point to change things for the better. In the meantime, don’t waste your energy or resources trying to go against the overwhelming odds. Your best course is to hold back and wait. At the present moment, there is no point in trying to influence others by your explanations and justifications. The more you defend your situation, the more you harden the odds against you. Your words will simply fall on deaf ears. Eventually, all your futile efforts come to conclude that you are at the end of your tether.

Acceptance is the great lesson of this situation. What it involves is facing the facts honestly. The more willing you are to accept the reality of the problem, the better your chances of seeing the whole picture. Then you will see the truth of what is.

When there is no denial and no blame, then you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In addition, there is one more thing you can do. That is to hold tightly on to your faith in yourself based on the unconditional love of God. Nothing can destroy this unless you allow it to. You must remain absolutely determined to overcome your problem. With your inner strength and the spiritual help from God, you can survive this trying period and emerge a better person.

Thoughts To Ponder

 When you are trapped in a seemingly hopeless situation, God wants you to learn the great lesson of acceptance. Will Garcia, an AIDS patient, is able to enlighten you on the virtue of unconditional acceptance- “The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That’s all you have to do. Change is not something you do; it is something you allow.”

During this difficult period, just ponder on this valuable insight- that unconditional acceptance is your master key to your inner peace and calm. Just as Catherine Marshall says, “True, this is my situation at the moment. I’ll look unblinkingly at the reality of it. But I’ll also open my hands to accept willingly whatever a loving Father sends me.”

THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD SHINES ON THE SINNERS AS WELL AS THE SAINTS REGARDLESS OF THEIR SPIRITUAL STATUS

DAY 2

IT IS  TIME TO AWAKEN YOUR AWARENESS & DISCOVER THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD FOR YOUR INNER HEALING

The real tragedy of the modern era is that we have lost the real meaning of spirituality.

If you want to pray for a miracle for inner healing, be aware of what you are praying for. If you have awareness, your heart and mind will be open to the unconditional love of God. In his book, “Nine Faces of God,” Peter Hannan, SJ, maintains that “Whereas most of us were taught that being loving is the essential of Christian living, the emphasis in the Bible is on our being loved. This focusing of our attention on being loved, rather than on being loving will be revolutionary for most people.  Remember that the revolution will take place in your life when you realize that it is not so much your love for God that matters as the fact that God loves you.

Our ability to accept fully the love of God which sustains us, is very tied up with our own image of ourselves. We are easily dominated by the voice of our own insignificance. This is the tragic illusion that results when a small, dark fraction of our lives becomes the whole picture we see of ourselves. Seeing things in this way makes it very difficult for us to accept a vision of God as love and ourselves as lovable in His eyes. As a result, our acceptance of the essential invitation of Christ to believe the Good News of God’s love and providence, is very limited.”

Thoughts To Ponder

This retreat brings home the realization that the Good News is for all human beings especially those suffering from depression, despair, hopelessness and shame.

As one great philosopher once said, `The elixir is hidden in the toxin.’ Yes the antitoxin for the healing of your depression and toxic shame is actually hidden inside your suffering heart and mind. It is a matter of shifting your perception to realize that God’s unconditional love will heal your wounded self-esteem. In other words, God loves you very much no matter what your moral status is. His love is simply unconditional- i.e. a love without any buts or ifs.  Just like any good medicine, you have to accept it and consume it before you can benefit from its healing power. Similarly, it is crucial that you must be aware of the power of God’s unconditional love. Then you have to accept this wonderful gift that will bring about inner healing to your wounded self-esteem and toxic shame. Once you accept this great gift, then you will realize that you are worthy of being loved by God. Then it is inevitable that your self-worth and self-esteem will be greatly enhanced by the divine love. The rationale is simple and logical- If  God can love you for what you are (with all your sins, flaws and disorders), who is qualified to ridicule and condemn you?

 

 

LIVING A LIFE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS THE BEST GUARANTEE OF REAL HAPPINESS IN THIS BROKEN WORLD.

DAY 3

PRAY FOR THE WISDOM TO FACE THE REALITY OF YOUR LIFE

 To receive the grace and wisdom for your recovery from your wounded self-esteem, it is important to nurture your awakened awareness of your problems. To awaken your awareness, you need to reflect often on the problem as it is without any denial. In his book, The Next Generation Leader, Andy Stanley gives us some guidelines about facing reality as it is:

• You shall not pretend.
• You shall not turn a blind eye.
• You shall not exaggerate.
• You shall not shoot the bearer of bad news.
• You shall not ignore constructive criticism.
• You shall not isolate yourself socially.

If you can find the courage to face reality and take action, you will enhance the chances of improving your situation and discovering a positive outcome. An honest and correct perspective of reality protects us from avoidable disasters.

M. Scott Peck,  author of the best-selling book, `The Road Less Traveled’, provides us a valuable insight, “our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are… If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost.”

So it is important to be honest with yourself and pay attention to reality.

 (Adapted from `21 Steps To A Great Life’ by Dr. Steve Stephens)

Thoughts To Ponder

It is important in this retreat to pray for the wisdom of understanding, acknowledging, and accepting  your shadow. Everyone has a shadow side which comes with the territory of being human. Our shadow contains the undesirable parts of us that we have been ashamed of, tried to hide and deny. As it is painful to face the reality of our shadows, most of us bury our shadows in our consciousness, hidden from ourselves and others.

However, we fail to realize that our most valuable qualities are also hidden in our dark shadows. So unless we bring our shadows to the surface, we will certainly miss those wonderful qualities of love, spirituality, wisdom, trust and creativity.

It requires courage for any soul to enter his/her dark side to recover the keys to the inner peace, happiness and fulfillment.

Submitted by David YKK

 

 

TODAY I PROMISE THAT I WILL LISTEN TO THE INNER VOICE IN MY HEART THAT I WILL BE MY OWN BEST FRIEND IN THIS BROKEN WORLD.

DAY4

PROMISE YOURSELF AT THIS MOMENT THAT YOU WILL LISTEN TO YOURSELF & TURN A DEAF EAR TO OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINION

 We hope that in this retreat, God’s unconditional love will fill your troubled soul with grace and wisdom to see a new dawn and a fresh proactive perception towards yourself.

In our modern society with so many dos and don’ts in many gray areas, most people do things they don’t want to do or dare not do things they want to do. Why? Because they are afraid of what others might think or say about them. The fear of social disapproval or social rejection or marginalization is truly crippling to anyone trying to live an authentic life.

The authors, John-Roger & Peter McWilliams, in their wonderful book, You Can’t Afford The Luxury Of A Negative Thought, share with us this valuable piece of insight,

“We call this `worshipping the god of other people’s opinion.’ The opinion of another becomes more important than our own wants, needs and desires… If your faith in yourself is strong, the opinion of others (which, often, they got from the opinion of others, who got it from the opinion of still others) is not as influential.”

 Their insight has been reinforced by this eminent nature philosopher, Thoreau, who said, “Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that is what determines, or rather, indicates his fate.”

Another great thinker, Emerson, joined in by saying, “It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps wit .”

(Adapted from `You Can’t Afford The Luxury Of A Negative Thought’) 

Thoughts To Ponder

During this season of love, promise yourself that you will start paying attention to your own soul and pay less heed to the gossips swirling around you. Learn to praise the idiosyncrasies, the eccentricities, the quirks and the oddities of others. By tolerating and praising other people’s unique behaviors, you will learn to praise your own.

At the end of the day, it is your own opinion of yourself that reigns paramount in living your life.

Submitted by David YKK

BE PATIENT- EVEN THIS FLOWER BUD MUST WAIT PATIENTLY TO BECOME A GLORIOUS ROSE.

DAY 5 

PATIENCE AS AN EFFECTIVE ANTIDOTE TO THE ANXIETY,  FEARS & OTHER TOXIC EMOTIONS UNDERMINING OUR REAL HAPPINESS

The Roman philosopher, Cato the Elder, stressed that “Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” We sincerely hope that you will pray to God to give you this rare gift  to cope with your inner demons and your external enemies. 

A few centuries ago, St. Francis de Sales, a well-known Christian saint, left a precious legacy for us, “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them- every day begin the task anew.”

 

Thoughts To Ponder

 During this retreat, do something meaningful in your life. Go to a quiet corner and spend some time to reflect on the ways you can cultivate patience in your life.

Let J. Maurus be your retreat master and follow his tips on the art of living-

“Little headaches, little heartaches

Little griefs of everyday

Little trials and vexations

How they throng upon our way.

One great cross immense and heavy

So it seems to our weak will

Might be borne with resignation

But these many little ones kill.

Yet all life is formed of small things

Little leaves make up the trees

Many tiny drops of water blending

Make the mighty seas.

Let us then not be impatience

Mar the beauty of the whole.

But for the love of the Lord bear all

In the silence of the soul.

Asking Him for grace sufficient

To sustain us through each loss

And to treasure each small suffering

As a splinter from His cross.”

 

Submitted by David YKK