LOVE IS A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD: THE LOVE YOU SHOW TO OTHER NEEDY PEOPLE WILL ALSO ENHANCE YOUR COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF.
THERE IS ALWAYS A BEACON OF LIGHT HIDDEN IN GOD'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Love is a really funny thing. Love is a paradox.
From my experiences, I have formed my personal philosophy of love- if you really want to love yourself, the best strategy is to love others sincerely without any personal agenda or ulterior motives.
Altruistic love is the best way to shore up your wounded self-esteem.
I have always remembered this inspiring anecdote of the little boy and one starfish.
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who was strolling on the beach. This was an unusual day because the beach was full of stranded starfish that were awaiting to die in the heat of the hot summer sun. However his meditative walk was interrupted by the unusual sight of a little boy picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the sea- one by one. It appeared to be an exercise in futility because there were simply too many- thousands if not millions of starfish on the sandy beach! Being in a philosophical mood, the wise man asked the little boy, “Why do you waste your time? You can’t possibly save all the uncountable number of dying starfish on the beach!”
The little boy responded, “Yes, I can’t possibly save all the thousands of starfish on this beach. But at least, I can save at least this starfish that is in my hand and several other starfish until I have no more strength to pick and throw!”
The wise man nodded in agreement with this profound statement by an innocent mind.
The best-selling author and psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck, also nods in total agreement with this simple idea when he says, “The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual- for it is in the solitary mind and soul of the individual that the battle between good and evil is waged and ultimately won or lost.”
Based on my personal philosophy and perspective, this simple story is yet another wonderful inspiring tale of how the little boy, filled with simplicity and love, merely became a little humble instrument to reflect and dispense God’s unconditional love in his own little childish ways. To put it briefly, love can only be shown and demonstrated by little acts of love which cumulatively will transform and touch both the subject and the object.
Talking about saving starfish, I would like to share with you my recent experience and encounter with my previous foot-reflexologist who is an attractive young woman. In my frequent conversations with her about her life, I learned that she was under great financial pressure to get enough money to pay for her family financial commitments at home. So she was contemplating about taking up an extra job in a KTV lounge late in the night. Knowing the serious implications of her next move, I counseled her repeatedly against this idea because it would be an irrevocable step into the unknown territory of possibly becoming a sex worker and getting trapped in the web of immoral sex activities.
I was really concerned and saddened because this tragedy was about to explode in my little personal world and there was so little that I could do to save her from her plight except by mere words. Strangely and unexpectedly, I became drawn into the story of her life. It was then that I recalled the anecdote of a little boy and his starfish. Of course, my personal conviction and philosophy of God’s unconditional love added an extra dimension to this encounter. What can one person do to save another fellow human being from personal disaster? How can one show God’s love on a one-to-one basis?
Every human mind is ingenious and so is mine. When there is a will, there is a way.
So I thought of a clever idea that would provide a win-win situation.
In crafting this win-win solution, I must confess that I am not entirely free of personal agenda. I have always been interested in launching an English education program in China. So I factored in her role in assisting me to start a China-based company to teach English. Moreover, she has relatives who are educators and her parents are quite savvy in the business field. So I figure out that she would be a pretty good stepping-stone to realize my business ambition and in return, I would be able to help her change her occupation to become my marketing partner in China. So when she returned to China for her long leave, I joined her later on to explore on the feasibility of implementing my win-win plan..
Of course, I admit that my idea was a pretty long-shot and I would be putting myself in a vulnerable position of getting involved in a scandal that might be disastrous for my reputation and my marriage. There was considerable risk in this crazy idea.
A lot of things can happen between an old man and a pretty young lady in a foreign country for two weeks. Humans can be pretty unpredictable.
I was on the verge of calling off the trip. Only a few positive factors seemed to be swaying in favor of taking the risk of making the trip. One interesting fact was that the full fare was heaven-sent. Because of my carelessness in my online share investment by adding an extra 0 to the number of shares I was buying, it resulted in a financial gain of about US$550 when I rectified my errors a few days later. To me, it appeared that God was sending me on a mission of self-discovery cum writing an interesting story of love to help another human being. The next factor was that I was free of any personal agenda of getting emotional involvement or taking advantage of my female friend or to exploit her vulnerability. In short, I sincerely believe I could trust myself during this trip in spite of my vulnerability. Thirdly, my wonderful wife could trust me and she even encouraged me to make the trip when I was quite hesitant. And lastly, I could trust my friend who believed in my sincerity and intentions.
After the eventful trip, I am happy to tell my wife honestly that my trip to China had been transparent and above-board. To me, this trip has provided me with a fresh picture of my better self or the good wolf inside me. I did not take advantage of my friend’s financial plight or exploit her vulnerabilities in my thoughts, words or actions. In this respect, I think she gives me a lot of respect because I have been a gentleman and a man with a good heart. More significantly, when I emerged from this crazy adventure, I have gained a new respect for myself because I acted like a gentleman during this unique vacation. More importantly, I have practiced in a small way the gospel of love propounded by Jesus Christ and this in turn has also enhanced my positive self-esteem significantly. It was truly a journey of self-discovery. From this unique trip, I begin to develop a better understanding of Harry E. Fosdick’s words of wisdom, “Rebellion against your handicaps gets you nowhere. Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world- making the most of one’s best.”
To add an interesting note and unpredictable conclusion to this story- my woman friend has quit her job as a foot reflexologist and is preparing to get married to her boy friend very soon.
How interesting!
I hope I have said or done something positive that has changed her life for the better.
I sincerely hope she is the one pretty `starfish’ that I have rescued from moral and social self-destruction. Surely, in the complex equation of life, it is God’s love and healing grace that will make all the difference. My own personal experiences have validated this universal law.
The moral of my story is this- that love prevails over all the other negative forces in the universe because it is based on the essential nature of God. Now I understand why God loves all of us unconditionally. Because He knows how difficult it is to become human
and how traumatic it is to perfect oneself to become a more loving human being.
IT HAS DAWNED ON ME THAT YOU AND I ARE THAT ONE `STARFISH’ THAT GOD IS TRYING SO HARD TO SAVE!
Submitted by David YKK
